Do you ever feel like no one cares about what you're going through? Or No one calls to check up on you or comes to your rescue? Guess what sweetie ! NO ONE FUCKING CARES! Yep, You read correct. No one cares, well at least not the way you want them to. We get to an age where everyone is doing their own thing, focusing on themselves and strategising their next career moves or business venture. We all have people who care for our well being, but they aways seem to have their own interest and agendas. Good old fashioned selfishness! But who’s wrong in this situation them or you? while you are standing around feeling lonely , you're neglecting your most powerful ally… yourself!
This was a situation I’ve found myself in one too many times. If you know me (hi guys) i’m a vocal, animated and very sociable. Possibly one of the most confident people you’d ever meet. However, I was an extremely secretive person in regards to pretty much everything. From dudes, bad childhood experiences to family issues. It was like I needed to feel like I was in control of everything, so ultimately my friends were as much in the dark as a stranger off the street. I submerged my self into helping, advising and coaching others because it gave me purpose, it gave me taste of the very thing I was starved of. Later, my unofficial shrink told me this was called deflection. Apparently It helps me ignore the negative feelings and emotions I have inside, which inturn make the situation worst.
Now, I have some pretty amazing friends, who when I have let in, have helped me tremendously. But before, I when went through the ‘no one cares about ME stage, I just wanted someone to stop and look beyond the ‘i’m fine’ responses and help me pull out some of the monsters in my closet. How fucking ridiculous. Stupidly I wanted others to care more about my life than I did. I wanted someone to host a sympathy party for issues they had no idea about. It was so backwards but I believed it to be true. I was only seeing thing from my own blind perspective. I was selfish in the wrong way. I wanted attention from others that I wasn't giving myself. I wanted everyone to stop being concerned with their own shit and smell mine. I needed to be selfish in a way that was progressive and concentrated more on diffusing the issues I had rather than refueling them.
I had to realise and I had to realise fast that I had to stop feeling sorry for myself!. I got some pretty dark stuff in my closet and I could rely on that stuff to be my crutch which I could use to explain certain negative behaviour and situations in my life. This totally stripped me of responsibility, which ultimately limited my control over myself.
When I opened up to my friends of course they were supportive and offered me amazing advice but we didn't dwell on these past happenings, we didn’t stay in that moment. As fast as it came was as fast as it was gone. This was my wake up call . Their reactions helped me more than the words that came out their mouths. They didn't cry for me or throw me a sympathy party. It’s crazy how something so small can change your whole outlook on life. Oh, and please believe I was waiting for the BIG BANG aka my entrance as guest of honour to my pity party. However, I realised that the world doesn't stop for you and in the fast paced life we live no one has time too! You got to deal with the matters head on and stop avoiding them. Spend time on yourself analysing situations, dealing with the emotions attached and remembering tomorrow is a new day. Don’t over-indulge in your issue. It’s a distraction from the amazing path your life going towards….the FUTURE!! I had to realise I was a self sabotaging fool and I was blocking my progression because I refused to let go of that hurt that had ironically become my comfort zone. I had to be apart of my own rescue and get off my arse and refocus. As deep rooted and painful as some truths are, you have to pluck them out eventually. So cry for a week if you need to or write down your issues and face them. Whatever your process is, do it; because sooner or later you have to get the fuck over it - everyone else has.
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