"Are Women Only Confident When Naked?"

I thought I’d start this article with a witty first liner comparable with that of Carrie Bradshaw but unfortunately that’s not going to happen. I’m sitting in a coffee shop, pondering over a discussion I had with my fairly misogynistic male friend. He remarked that I could not be as confident when relating to men, as men could be with women. I’m not talking about the ole’ double standard of men being able to sleep with lots of women and being praised and women doing the same and being called ‘sluts’ (we know, Lilly Allen, Eve etc have taught us that already). I’m talking about the idea that women who are confident are seen as intimidating, ‘man eaters’ and sometimes as lesbians, because they play hard ball. Pardon the pun. However when men are trail blazers, cocky and full of bravado-they’re simply manly, a man’s man. Since when did confidence become a male only attribute?

Attention Seeking Men!

Last night I had an epiphany or a revelation if you will … men are just as, or if not more, attention seeking then women. Let me take you back to last night. I had a conversation with one of my guy friends and he started explaining his weekend “frenzy” (in his eyes). He and his friends went to a party in Essex and popped champagne (Cristal and Dom Perignon) in the pursuit to attract the attention of four blonde haired, blue eyed, big boobed and massive assed women. They spent over £5000 in club; just to get their attention. Not to give credit to £5000, it’s definitely not life changing, but to a lot of people that’s a lot of money to spend to get the attention of a bunch of strangers. However, this group of men felt that it was money well spent because the women had sexy bodies and were “Instagram famous”, meaning they had over 100,000 followers. The women were so impressed, that they posted a picture of one of the guys on their instagram and he received thousands of likes. This whole conversation made me think, ‘is it possible that men seek just as much attention as women but use their money to gain it?’

You see, I figured out why men’s attention seeking is not as obvious as women’s, it’s simple…. Women seek attention through their bodies and sexual gestures whereas as men use their money. Let me break it down…

Yes, No, Maybe?...

When we talk about sex and consent, it is usually in one way. We often associate the right to consent with a woman and it seems as though only a woman can determine whether the act of sex occurs or not. This only emphasises the poor general assumption that guys always want sex and do not have the ability to turn it down. This is in fact a generalisation made by plenty of women who haven't experienced being turned down for sex just yet. When I told a friend about the topic of this article she said to me 'guys don't say no to sex though', as a man who has said no to a woman who wants to have sex, I can vouch that some men do say no.

Believe them the FIRST time!

      

I learnt to do this the hard way. I didn't pay attention to the signs that were shown to me from the very beginning. You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. My ex, who didn't treat me well. You see I should’ve known that when a guy doesn't call as often as you call him or barely takes you out to lush restaurants, bars or on dates in general, it’s probably not going anywhere regardless of what he says. His actions or rather lack of them, are probably never going to change.

Don’t get me wrong, yes, some people do change, but how long will it take for that change to come around? I realised that he had already shown me his true colours from the start, however, the question is why was I shocked when he revealed himself year in year out? When would I start believing his character and realise the relationship was rubbish and he was taking me for a ride?